Dogcatcher. Thoroughbred trainer. NRL referee. Free-lance writer. Australian cricket selector.

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We would rather be any of the first four, as opposed to the fifth.

No matter who is picked for the XI, you are hated. Regardless of who is left off, fresh enemies are made.

If those who disagree with your selections come to discover that your picks resulted in a win, it is chalked up to luck. Those who agree with your picks will turn on you faster than a Sydney minute in the face of a loss.

Steve Smith’s ban is a thing of the past. He produced during the Ashes.

David Warner, on the other hand, has yet to achieve redemption, because he found kryptonite in the form of Stuart Broad in the Ashes.

Being the opener is the dream of every lad and lass that picks up a bat.

It was more nightmare for Warner, as he set a new low-water mark of 95 runs for a batter appearing 10 times in a series.

Warner does not have the opener’s slot guaranteed for the upcoming Tests. That, according to national selector Trevor Hohns, aka the Man We Would Never Want to Be.

Captain Tim Paines’ words to the effect that Warner has done enough over his career to retain his spot were supportive of a teammate, but Paine has no voice in the process, so he might as well have been recommending a good sushi joint.

Warner will have some Sheffield Shield matches to bolster his claims, but from a distant perspective, it would seem that he could smash tons right and left and still have detractors galore.

Hohns was non-committal recently when asked about Warner.

“I’m not going to comment on that right now,” Hohns said. He went on to say that there are two, possibly three batting spots, which are still to be filled.

Cameron Bancroft, Marcus Harris, Joe Burns, Matt Renshaw and Usman Khawaja need to show that they are worthy of consideration.

Please excuse us, as we have strays to round up.