Sober Poms Grasping Straws Ahead of Third Test at WACA

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Several days have gone by since we last looked at the latest goings in in the world of cricket.

So far as we can tell, no additional Poms have run aground. No, most of the news surrounding the tourists is standard sports fare, along the lines of their desperate moves to keep the Ashes from being decided in Perth and keep the final two matches from being dead rubbers.

The Australian cricketers are seemingly occupying All Blacks terrain, if we can be forgiven for switching to the code of rugby for the comparison, given the lack of creativity coming out of New Zealand when it comes to naming national sports teams.

Ahead of the third Test at WACA in Perth, the Brits are rearranging their batters, apparently heeding the calls of the pundits. Warning to the Poms: Pundits are pundits for a reason and there are other words for them, some less vague and far less complimentary than is pundit.

The tourists will still use the same 11, but Jonny Bairstow will move to number six from the number seven spot he occupied for the first two tests. Is that it? That hardly seems like the sort of move that will produce the miracle England needs, but then, we ourselves are not above a bit of punditry when the opportunity presents itself.

The Brits are actually discussing some other moves, but we have to leave them for now because of the news that involves Big Basher Chris Gayle.

It seemed as though the BBL was done with him for his unabashed effrontery of asking cricket expert Melanie McLaughlin if she would like to join him for an adult libation. He further sullied his reputation by being dragged through a defamation case brought by a masseuse during a previous tour. Gayle was acquitted.

Gayle partnered with Brendan McCullum for 201 to ensure that the Rangpur Riders won the Bangladesh Premier League final over the Dhaka Dynamites, prompting him to declare himself, “The Greatest Batsman of all time.” Be careful with that sort of talk in Don Bradman territory, mate. He recently smacked 126 of just 51 balls against the Khulna Titans.