Tennis Bad Boy Nick Kyrgios Delves Into Literary Criticism

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Nick Kyrgios, at the centre of a tempest in recent days that saw him going from first to worst in a matter of days, apparently has a low opinion of tennis writer Ben Rothenberg, calling him “the worst writer to exist.”

We beg to differ, as we consider ourselves to be much worser writers than Rothenberg, but we have yet to register on the Bad Writer Radar of Kyrgios. It is only a matter of time and our extreme dedication to poor writing between us and our dismissal by Kyrgios.

The ATP, after fining Kyrgios $16,500 for his viral meltdown in the Shanghai Masters, decided that his lack of contrition merited an additional financial penalty of $25,000, raising his total bill to more than $29,000.

We are, in addition to being bad writers, not the best of mathematicians, either, although we do not know if that will influence Kyrgios against us.

The ATP has also given him an eight-week ban, which will not affect his participation in defense of Australia’s Hopman Cup title, so the whole country can breathe a collective sigh of relief.

We would personally like to thank Kyrgios for making tennis relevant again and would like to nominate him his own reality TV show. Working titles: Whose Fault Is It? Or Possibly: Nobody Loves Me.